Monday, July 11, 2005

FREE & FOUND

Right after I got my divorce finalize... I immediately felt FREE and all the heaviness of guilt, rejection, failure, etc. got lifted off my back. It's amazing what a piece of paper could do to a person. I have been working on my issues for a long time and taking this huge step made me realize that I can go through anything in life as long as I am firm with what I want out of it.
Now, I can really move on... I am once again ready to be HAPPY and happy I will be. No more stupid but HOT rebounds, no more settling, no more feeling like I am LOST.
I have found myself once more. The trip back home assisted in the search process. All the bits & pieces I have left behind were picked up and put back together and made me whole again. I finally understood what was missing before and why I lost myself in the seven unglorious years of being Mrs. Duarte. It's a revelation and self preservation. I haven't been happy for awhile no matter what I try. But now, oh, now --- I wake up with a certain voracity in conquering all the previous fears of finding who I really am and struggling with a failed couplehood. I am no longer LOST... I now EXIST in a life I have created in a new place with a renewed HOPE.
I am Jhoiey. I know what I want and I work hard to get it. Life with all it's quirky turns is a journey I welcome with a bag of trailmix and a huge smile on my face, while saying "throw all your hardest challenge and I will take it in a stride... slowly but surely leading to the next challenge to WIN life once more...."
I no longer will use this blog site, instead I will start another one that represents the revived ME more!...
Tune in...
On a lighter note... I joined an internet dating site... I didn't say I want to be alone, I said I don't need anybody but I definitely want someone!... you know...

Sunday, July 10, 2005

back from Pinas!

I have finally mustered enough energy to sit in front of the PC and blog about my trip... Adjusting after a month of being away with a totally different climate, way of life and all the other factors that differentiate the Philippines from Los Angeles...
All I have to say is that I am thankful I went to that trip. I have come to appreciate who I am and who I have become. I understood more the reason why I left and why I chose to live here. Mainly because I have a new found appreciation to where I came from and what made me, ME. Seeing old friends, spending time with extended family... the experience were all too precious.
I had so much to say about my trip but... I would have to summarize it for NOW with these three photos that I thought represents how I feel right now. One of these days I will have to focus and blog more about it because it is a truly profound one month of self discovery and transformation. I am even thinking of changing the title of my blog once more... :)



that was a long hike on my mountain...


hey fishy fishy


in Boracay