Sunday, March 06, 2005

WANTED:

Single white guy who does not want commitment and is willing to be a rebound.
Requirements: plenty of outdoors activity & plentier unadulterated s*x.
Emotions a no-no and please, no baggage. I don't need any more drama! I have had enough for a lifetime.
I decided to spend last one orgasmic weekend with my almost ex. Fine, I'll admit that I had my hopes up for 2 seconds but that got killed in less than the hopes were up. This is why I need therapy people! I need to face the fact that there is no teaching an old dog a new and boring trick! The guy is an ultimate womanizer and I gave him a one way ticket to a new and better bachelorhood! New bitchin' pad in Brentwood, above San Vicente, a new career in architectural model making with a top corporation as a client, the know how to be in that business and freedom from marriage! Here I was thinking that leaving on his own would lead him to realize how much I mean to him.... sure! I am nothing but a great fuck for him, oh and an invaluable resource.
I was in happy hour with some guys from work last Friday and when they found out that the model maker is my almost ex-husband... they all want to covet me as ex-wife... not because I am so great, it's because I have "STUPID" written all over my forehead.
Oh, well... after a good massage and an infinite "O"... I walked away, with tears, yes... tears knowing that I would discipline myself to make this the REAL LAST ONE. More tears and screaming in the car... but as soon as I walked in my HOME SWEET HOME.... I smiled like a crazy woman and thanked the LORD for the revelation and the infinite chances to be truly independent. Who needs a man now a days anyway? I just need to be battery-operated inept.
Let me give myself some useful therapy here.... look in the mirror - convince yourself that you are beautiful --- okay... you are still young... you LOOK young... you are smart... independent... talented... with a great career ahead of you! Right? I can do this... I can do this...
One more time - say it with me---- I CAN DO THIS!
That was good... now take a deep breathe and MOVE ON!