Thursday, January 13, 2005

NEW friends for LIFE!

I just got back from a long weekend with NEW found friends and I must say, it has caused a stir in my mental and physical agility.
Let's see... I started this blog when I started getting confused on my life and the choices I have made. When I am happy and content, friends and family usually don't hear from me. I share my happiness and contentment with just one person exclusively. I purposefully alienate myself from everybody because I didn't need to. However, when I am shaken, the whole world knows about it because I cannot seem to stop talking about it. I have in effect been more susceptible to getting affected by my environs more than usual. Last year was the worst year of my entire life. It was a very trying series of moments that made me question my whole belief system. I turned 30 and was in a 7 year itch. Question of career versus family and starting one lurks from one corner to the next. I began asking it as well. I am a naturally nurturing person and those who know me could either agree or dispute but I would make a great mother as I was a good wife, generally speaking. Having said that, I am also a very selfish person as I want everything to revolve around me and with all subtlety I manage to impose that on people. Life's greatest contradiction!
When I was growing up, I have had very few friends who I could call REAL. Most of them really just use me for whatever reason and I happily let them. Moving to Los Angeles as fake as most people perceive this place to be, I have found a niche were I belong and didn'e even have to try. It's got it's own set of disappointments and disillussionment but I could not think of any other place that would have accepted me the way L.A. did.
I have made decisions last year that I am AGAIN questioning and when this year started and I opened myself up to taking medications and going to therapy, I thought I would hate it but instead it has been keeping me focused on things that worth focusing on.
I am meeting new friends that supports whatever decisions I make and have been instrumental in my over-all well being.
I am probably going all over the place with this entry but what I am trying to make a point of is that... It's never too late to make new friends in all sorts of different ways without having to change who you really are or to try and fit in. Everyone is very unique and a variety of personalities could make up a really memorable weekend. I felt FOUND! I felt safe, I felt appreciated. I thank the initiator of the weekend pajama party.
MW--- A powerhouse of enigmatic grace. She opened her house to 2 strangers and an old friend. Have planned activities that enriched my soul. Accepted me for who I am, a half baked nothing in terms of my cultural identity. Offered a listening ears without judgement. Pushed FUN to the next level in a fourth grade moment of legality!!! THAT'S HOT!
LM--- One of the sweetest and funniest person I have met with one liners that could go down to history. She is so down to earth and yet exudes a self assurance that doesn't need backing up.
RS--- Well, what can I say about our ESCORT? He sure knows how to take a joke like a gentleman! I don't know of many men in this day and age who would have shown me that much respect after the way I spoke and acted. He is a keeper!!!
I believe I have met new friends who would be in my life significantly... I would have to discuss my other thoughts another time when I unjumble my head and post pictures as well...
MW, thanks again! I'll see you soon!