Wednesday, July 21, 2004

before surgery

Tossing and turning and did not get a good night sleep at all. Even my food fest before the midnight cut-off did not happen, I had no appetite.
Friends kept on asking me yesterday if I am okay. Am I okay? NO, I am not okay.
Again, I am probably over reacting and I am sure that everything will turn out fine... But no one really knows...
Or maybe I just needed attention!
I have a friend who survived cancer, the one I met for lunch yesterday. If he did it, I can do it... This is not even cancer!
My Dad was a cancer survivor, too. My Mom underwent total hysterectomy. They are all still alive and well.
All these consolation did not stopped me from getting freaked out.
I was really awake by 5:00 a.m. this morning... I just re-did and re-did my blog template. I was so restless.
It was crazy but when my Mom had surgery when I was 15, she looked for her lost love and she wrote her "Last Will and Testament"... Now I wrote mine as well... Just in case... I also called all my friends... Just in case... Except the almost- ex who didn't even bother calling me either.
Call me crazy paranoid but I don't leave things to chance.
It's almost time to leave the house... I am ready...
I give this to GOD!