Tuesday, June 29, 2004


First day of my month long freedom from working a day job!

I got up earlier than usual. Packed a bag good till Thursday. Figured out what to wear for a fun evening. Called my doctor to confirm start of my disability. Called my new employer to verify the start date of my employment. Went through the bills that needed to be taken care of before all my cash vanish, went through some e-mails as well. As much as I had time for anyway. I had to get out of the house cause I heard that the almost-ex-h just woke up...

I have to avoid facing the inevitably pissed off almost-ex-h. He is now going through the emotional stages of breaking up. I pity him but I have to stand on my convictions and stay firm that it is over. We went through this before and forgiving him and continuing the relationship with him only made him think that I can be taken for granted anytime he pleases.

When I came home last Saturday (more like early Sunday) after a night-out of dancing with my sister. I cried my self to sleep after what I saw. His eyes were sunken and he had this sullen demeanor. He looked terrible and much older than the day I told him that it's over. It saddens me.

Sometimes I ask myself... did I do this? NO! We did it to each other. There is no singular person at fault. We both were at fault. I know that now. I have to accept my internal growth...

Back to my day.... I left the house as speedy as I could. Our friend Shawn came over early and that was a good opportunity for me to leave the house without confrontation. I went to Pasadena to pick up Shelly and meet a couple of other ex-co-workers-turned-friends, Nadia and Sylvia and we met with the BigMc-BOB too. Had lunch, talked about career, life and love. Went by the old office where I met Nadia and Sylvia and caught up with everyone. The other designer that use to sit right next to me was teasing me on how I don't fit the corporate world. I said you don't know the chameleon in me (not referring to my previous pets!), I adapt well in any environment, the corporate world shouldn't be that difficult.

Shelly and I went to the movies afterwards. So this is what unemployed people do the whole day? After a couple of hours laughing at Ben Stiller's inflatable crouch covers, we proceeded to one of the expensive, organic grocery stores to do some food shopping for Shelly's Atkins diet and my dessert items for the nights dinner plans. Got back at Shelly's, wore my favorite dress, put make-up on...

It was, over-all, a fun night!