Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Dazed & Confused

So here I am sitting at my workstation, working only 60% of the time, the other 40% - I'm surfing the net and trying to figure out how to get out of the mood I've had since I closed my business... depressed!

I made an appointment with a neurosurgeon for my neck problems and I am hoping he would advise me to get of work for at least a month, if not longer. I just need a long break to see where I am at in my life and where I am heading. Right now, I am confused and tired all the time. This very moment, to function - I am taking 2 over-the-counter pain pills every 3 hours, this makes my brain a little cloudy.

I want to apply for another job but I am afraid to start a job feeling this way, I may not be able to give my best. It could also be that my self-esteem is a little on the low side because I know I haven't been putting any effort at work and I know that, that ain't gonna fly with new employment.

I just need a break!