Monday, March 15, 2004

While in the plane flying to Heathrow, I saw 2 1/2 movies: Gothika, Something's Gotta Give & Shattered Glass (which I didn't finish)

While in the plane flying back to LAX... I saw 2 1/2 movies: Cheaper By The Dozen, Silvia & The Last Samurai (which I fell asleep on) and devoured 1/3 of The Da Vinci Code. The flight was 10 hours long and I didn't even notice it. BA had great flight entertainment choices and I love the fact that they pass out drinks every hour at least.

Silvia Platt was a very disturbed individual but I totally related to her life. I am not as depressed as she was but I am as passionate about my art and my marriage. Like her, when I met my husband, I instantly fell madly in love to the point of obsession. When she was saying her name and experimenting what it would sound like with his last name, I remember how I use to do that as well specially while Melissa and I where in thesis camp. I can also relate with the fact that she took a paying job to support the 2 of them while he pursue his arts intensely. The fact that he know her so well to inspire the deepness of her poetry reminded me of how my husband brought out the poet in me... And I can not find a more fitting description of my own marriage than when she said, and I quote "We were like halves walking on Earth empty...and then we found each other and we were WHOLE......." (I have to make sure that those were the exact words but it is very near the exact words) I felt her pain, her dissatifaction with her art and her constant need for him. His betrayal and her forgiveness and her denial and empathy... Her wanting to live and die and her constant quest for happiness. She was a true artist, a true poet.

Experiencing that movie and her life story made me realize that I still love my husband and that no matter how I get affected by people commenting that martyrs should be gunned to death (like Jose Rizal was killed as a martyr)... that what I am doing is not martyrdome but unconditional love. I have to constantly remind myself what unconditional means.