Sunday, December 04, 2005

New life found!

http://lost-angel-no-more.blogspot.com/

Please go to the above link to read about my new life and its infinite challenges!!!

Yeah! There is life after D!

Monday, July 11, 2005

FREE & FOUND

Right after I got my divorce finalize... I immediately felt FREE and all the heaviness of guilt, rejection, failure, etc. got lifted off my back. It's amazing what a piece of paper could do to a person. I have been working on my issues for a long time and taking this huge step made me realize that I can go through anything in life as long as I am firm with what I want out of it.
Now, I can really move on... I am once again ready to be HAPPY and happy I will be. No more stupid but HOT rebounds, no more settling, no more feeling like I am LOST.
I have found myself once more. The trip back home assisted in the search process. All the bits & pieces I have left behind were picked up and put back together and made me whole again. I finally understood what was missing before and why I lost myself in the seven unglorious years of being Mrs. Duarte. It's a revelation and self preservation. I haven't been happy for awhile no matter what I try. But now, oh, now --- I wake up with a certain voracity in conquering all the previous fears of finding who I really am and struggling with a failed couplehood. I am no longer LOST... I now EXIST in a life I have created in a new place with a renewed HOPE.
I am Jhoiey. I know what I want and I work hard to get it. Life with all it's quirky turns is a journey I welcome with a bag of trailmix and a huge smile on my face, while saying "throw all your hardest challenge and I will take it in a stride... slowly but surely leading to the next challenge to WIN life once more...."
I no longer will use this blog site, instead I will start another one that represents the revived ME more!...
Tune in...
On a lighter note... I joined an internet dating site... I didn't say I want to be alone, I said I don't need anybody but I definitely want someone!... you know...

Sunday, July 10, 2005

back from Pinas!

I have finally mustered enough energy to sit in front of the PC and blog about my trip... Adjusting after a month of being away with a totally different climate, way of life and all the other factors that differentiate the Philippines from Los Angeles...
All I have to say is that I am thankful I went to that trip. I have come to appreciate who I am and who I have become. I understood more the reason why I left and why I chose to live here. Mainly because I have a new found appreciation to where I came from and what made me, ME. Seeing old friends, spending time with extended family... the experience were all too precious.
I had so much to say about my trip but... I would have to summarize it for NOW with these three photos that I thought represents how I feel right now. One of these days I will have to focus and blog more about it because it is a truly profound one month of self discovery and transformation. I am even thinking of changing the title of my blog once more... :)



that was a long hike on my mountain...


hey fishy fishy


in Boracay

Sunday, June 05, 2005

back in PINAS

I am here! I am really here! I am having such a great time seeing old friends and feeling welcome. We are on our way to Romblon today...

I'll have pictures when I get back to LA...

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

single again...

I went on a date after my semi-illicit one before I moved out of the apartment I shared with my ex-husband.

This is the first guy I went out with that I am actually NOT physically attracted to but he seemed interesting... It went well considering that it is a school night... hehehe... as if:)

I had dinner already so I just went out and had a drink with him while he ate his dinner. Conversation was good... I am not thinking pass having a good time, so that puts away alot of pressure out of everything.

My shrink was proud of me...

Sunday, April 24, 2005

los liones hike


view from the top of Los Liones fire road


an unexpected view in LA


my friend Deedee enjoying the meadow


poppies

Despite a major hang over from last night's partying, I forced myself to get up and get Deedee to go hiking.
Thank God I did because it was such a gorgeous weather to go hiking. We went to Los Liones, it is bordering Pacific Palisades and Malibu. So green and woodsy. The hiking group was of course taking a faster stroll than I would like but they slowed down on our way back and I was able to take plenty of flower pictures. The air smelled fresh and it lifted up my spirits.
I had to drop of the drill to Gene afterwards because he needs it for his model making project. Even that didn't upset my mood. All the more realization that I am quite over him, even my bitterness. Great improvement from the last few weeks.
I really feel like I am moving on and living life ones more.

no one night stand :(


night out with my sister Jhosel

Jhosel took the liberty of enrolling us in Belly Dancing. I definitely ran out of excuses not to do it when she enrolled us at Santa Monica College instead of the usual Long Beach location, she even picked me up. I enjoyed it!

That night, she went with me on my friend's cafe's grand opening. We were very late and we still had to pick up Emy. We got there the cafe was close so we proceeded to the after party/artist studio opening of my friend's boyfriend. How rude was I for not even saying hi to him. I of course asked my friend first if it was okey with her if I avoid the bullshit because I really came there for her not him. He was the one who told me to keep my day job when he went to the gallery. I should probably thank him for the valuable advice but who gives a shit. I hang out enought to see two more people I absolutely hate. The architect and his wife who screwed me with a sidejob for $4,000.00++ See, I let money issues go. I don't like putting energy in collecting it and that's probably why I am poor. They also talked shit about me behind my back with one of the consultants, that's when I knew they tricked me and did not intend to pay me at all. Whatever, it was just money (as much as I need it)... I always believe that what comes around, gets around. The "Golde Rule".... I did not bother saying hi to them as well. One thing I am not good at is bullshiting with people.

We got out of there early enough to decide we want to go out party some more. So we did! I wanted to be obscenely aggressive and pick up a one-night-stand but boy!!! That was not easy, they were all too young and more attracted to my baby sister. Oh well... I guess I would have to hold off having se* for awhile.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

she's a big kid now!


pottie trained at last!

It was a sudden change. One day she just decided she knows how to use the toilet. So adorable. We were at the mall one day and she said, "Mommie Jhoiey, I need to pee".. so we were bopth sprinting looking for the ladies' room... she crossed her leg after a few minutes and asked me to carry her... We got to the toilet and she asked if her diaper is wet and I said, "No!"... She smiled her cute smile and said, "I hold it."

I wish she was mine sometimes...